Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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