If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
