Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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