nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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