Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
