If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
