You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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