where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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