i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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