despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
