so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
