just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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