So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize