i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
