how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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