You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
