So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
