How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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