hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
