apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
