Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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