He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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