This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
