More tranny stories later!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
