do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
