Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I had to cum in my sink.
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