Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
