imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found puke in my bra..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
