I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
