Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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