Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
