I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize