my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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