woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
