She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize