Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Sober January is a disaster.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
