When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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