We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
