Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
