i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
