Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
