You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
