Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
