Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Randomize
