writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
COCAINE IS GR8
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
