At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
