If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
