if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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