who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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