from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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