So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
