What a fucking waste of an outfit
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize