he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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