If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hippo gnu deer
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
