They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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