The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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