we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
