they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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