At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
