What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
