lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
