Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
