He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
this hospital has no fireball
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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