Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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