I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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