Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wanna bring you to show and tell
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
